THE MISCREANT      12-22-2010



I have a good HP printer but most of the time I don’t need it.  Yesterday I was printing up some info I wanted on hard copy.  Then, one miscreant piece of paper decided to slide through at an angle.  The printer was thoroughly jammed, so I removed the paper and got all of it out. But evidently my printer did not care for the manner in which I performed this necessity.  Every zigwing light, warning and button went off, flashing back and forth and running up and down the panel. Clearly the world was coming to an end! 


So, I opened the back cover to make sure there were no bits of paper still there.  I opened the top cover and pulled out the tray.  Then I pushed all the buttons in and out and some at the same time and the off/on button (which wouldn’t go off no matter what I tried.  I went into the printer queue and deleted.  I tried sending a print order again.  After variations of same, I pulled out the power plug and let it sit for 45 minutes.  I restarted my computer.

I plugged it back in and it still remembered the holocaust had arrived.  I have a wonky cover so I got messages to close it.  Closing required a great deal of banging on one side, which I did -  not that it helped.  So I went to the control panel and tried to delete the printer.  Though it told me it was deleting, it never finished.  Then I had to hunt up the disk for reloading my printer.  After I finally found it, my computer still said it was deleting the printer.  I tried reinstalling the driver but the computer wouldn’t accept it because it was already there. 

So I called in the big guns – my husband.  He is a chip designer and sometimes knows more than I do about computers (but not always).  He went into all kinds of nooks and crannies I did not know existed. Nothing he tried worked.  Eventually we figured out that documents I had reloaded were still in a queue so we deleted them.  FINALLY, the printer disappeared from my computer.  It was past midnight by this time and I gave up for the night.

First order of business this morning was loading the driver again.  You must have it disconnected from your computer when you start.  The disk came up and started to load.  We came to the part where you plug it in and turn on the printer.  A box comes up and tells you it may take some time for the computer to recognize the printer.  Is 20 minutes long enough?  The only option is to cancel.  I can’t see how this circuitous route is going to get my printer driver loaded.  I try to remove the disk so I can go to the internet and find the drivers.  The disk will not come out.  Finally I get it to release.


I’ve never had much luck downloading the drivers for this printer so I’m pretty leery that this is going to work but what choice do I have?  HP wants my valuable information on their survey before they will allow me to down load the driver.  As usual HP is so very helpful. I get these two options

            >>HP DeskJet Full Feature Software and Driver2003-12-30 , Version:, 15.33MHP DeskJet 5600 Series Full Features Printer Driver - for USB or parallel cable (American English) This driver is designed for use on Windows 2000 or Windows XP computers that will be directly …

            >>HP Deskjet Basic Software and Driver2003-12-01 , Version:, 7.41MThis driver is designed for use on Windows 2000 or Windows XP computers that will be directly connected to the printer using a parallel cable. Note: This driver does not contain Program Group …


I select the first one because I see USB and that is what connects my printer.  BUT before I can down load this HP AGAIN wants my valuable input.  Finally I see it loading but the window is gone. I forgot that something has reset in my computer and when I do downloads they disappear into space.  I have to go hunt up where it went.  Be right back.


After doing a computer search I find where I think it is and click. That takes me to an HP page on the net I’ve not seen before.  I don’t think that is it.  I try another folder.  I’m not sure what it is but I’ll see.  This one has to unzip and I have to wait on that.  That too disappears.  I’m not finding it so I try a search on my computer with HP 5650 but nothing is found.  In the mean time my computer has decided to do a security scan, which I have to cancel.

I try an advanced search of today’s date.  This ought to do it because I’ve not down loaded anything yet today.  Evidently I’m wrong about that because my computer tells me I have down loaded 87 things since I turned it on this morning.  But I do find something that looks like it might be the drivers.  When I click on it the loading starts and I feel vindicated.  But wait … it is exactly the same windows that come up when I use the disk.  And that means I’m back in that circular cycle again.  Gosh this is fun!  


Now I return to the webpage with HP drivers and try the other one, but first I must give my valuable input to HP.  Then I can’t find that one.  Next I go to the HP trouble shooting and these are my options

            Solution one: Clear your computer and reinstall HP software

What does “clear” mean?  I read down and see this

  • Run the Disk Cleanup utility:

  • Click Start, click All Programs , click Accessories , click System Tools , and then click Disk Cleanup .

Lovely, I’ll try that.  I HAVE NO “SYSTEM TOOLS” when I do that. 

It is now 10:45 and my printer still isn’t working.  If I can remember what I was trying to print I’ll email it to my husband and ask him to bring it home from work.


You might also enjoy this

copyright©2011 Fettigrew Hall. All rights reserved